Surrender or be Dragged

If you’re a first time mom and currently pregnant I want to say this: this blog post is not meant to scare you. If you’re planning a natural, un-medicated birth, I hope this can help prepare you mentally for the earth shattering, painful, beautiful, incredible journey you’re about to take. More often than not, the greatest obstacle when trying to achieve the birth you want is simply, fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the pain—how long will it last? How much will it hurt? Fear of possibly needing a c-section. Fear of your water breaking in the checkout line at Target!

If you’re already in the mindset where you’re telling yourself, “I’m good with whatever comes, I know I can handle it,” then congratulations! Keep that approach in the forefront of your mind leading up to your birth.

While listening to one of my favorite birth podcasts, I heard a mantra that has been stuck in my head ever since: “Surrender or be Dragged.”

This idea behind this mantra is simple. Surrender to the surges of each contraction, or be dragged through the birth experience, kicking and screaming. Once contractions are happening, they’re happening—there’s no pause, stop or rewind button to press. Once labor is in full swing and you’re regularly contracting, each surge comes like a wave and overtakes your body. You can not speak or stand normally—you’re in the throes of an intense moment of physical labor.

The uterus is a seriously strong muscle and with each contraction it works hard to bring baby down and slowly dilate your cervix. Your body is working toward a singular goal: the great moment of emergence. These intense contractions only last for around a minute, give or take. In between these surges you’ll feel blissful and your body releases oxytocin—you may even laugh or make jokes as if nothing is happening. It’s the most miraculous thing to witness and even more spectacular to experience.

Once you face the reality of all that birth is—the beauty and the pain—it comes the most powerful thing you will encounter. When the switch goes off to fully surrender and ride each wave as it comes, and you can breathe and mentally release yourself from fear, you’ve conquered the hardest part of all. The more relaxed you are the quicker things will progress and the faster you’ll get to meet your baby.

Remember, your body was made to do this.

You can do hard things.

You can do anything for a minute.

Breathe, relax, open.

Surrender, or be dragged.

Editor: Katherine Graham