1. You call the shots

   Educate yourself on procedures. Research care providers, midwives and hospitals. Don’t let yourself be fooled into believing that all doctors or midwives are created equal and will keep your best interest at heart. You’re in the driver’s seat here and I don’t want anyone to make you feel like anything is out of your control or without your consent. Understand that I am not a medical professional and I cannot give medical advice. I can and will, however, help provide guidance and resources on your options during pregnancy and labor. This is your big day, your biggest day. You need to call those shots!

2. Plan for the unexpected

   I’ll absolutely read your birth plan and be on board with it, too. I’ll talk through it with you and we can edit it together to make sure it’s everything you wish for it to be. I’ll remind you of what’s on it and work within my scope to have it be honored; by reminding you to speak up when needed.

   All that I ask is to have a plan B & C too.

   Plans don’t always work out the way we plan for them to (ha,ha). There are a zillion different things that can influence your labor; let’s think through those and set up a back-up to the back-up, just in case.

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff

   Labor and birth is one of the most beautiful miracles to ever happen. It’ll rock you and your partner to the core.

   Sometimes, often times, it can get a little messy though. There may be some poop, vomit, crying, and lots of blood - none of which anyone cares about. Don’t overthink it or let it worry or embarrass you. I promise, all everyone cares about is your well being. (Ask my nurse - I apologized about ten times that she had to clean up after me. She reminded me that she wouldn’t have chosen this line of work had she been squeamish around bodily fluids).

4. You won’t be pregnant forever, I promise!

The first eight months of pregnancy feel like about eight months. Then comes the last month, which feels like 196,865,000 years. Your patience may grow thin those last few weeks due to being uncomfortable, fatigued and just over it. Try to savor those last sweet days of baby being in the belly, getting foot massages on demand, and faces lighting up when they see the bump.

One way or another, baby.will.come!

5. It’s OK to not be OK

You’re already growing a human inside of you, you don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders too. Whether you’re just having a bad day, feeling seriously depressed - or somewhere in between - let’s talk. You can reach me by text, phone, or even e-mail if you prefer.

In the famous words of doula extraordinaire, Amanda Devereux, “You’re a mother not a martyr”.

More on this topic in future posts :)

6. This is your journey

Everyone and their mother will have stories to tell and advice to give. Heck, your mother’s neighbor’s dog, whose twice-removed cousin just had a baby might have some really solid advice to give.

Just remember that this is your journey. Listen to the advice that feeds your soul and drop the rest as fast as it reaches you. If someone even tries to tell you their “painful”, “scary”, “traumatic” birth story, you can simply say, “I appreciate that you want to share this with me. I’d actually love to walk this journey my way. We can share birth stories once my babe is born, okay?”

Also - don’t feel pressure from family to have everyone attend your birth. We’ll talk more about this during our consultation but allow yourself to have your birth space be sacred, if that’s what you wish.

7. OXYTOCIN. OXYTOCIN. OXYTOCIN.

Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone” and boy do I love it. You’ll hear me talk about it a lot.

The release of oxytocin is paramount for the progression of your labor and your natural pain management. It’s this amazing rush- a natural high - that helps you push through those contractions and fall in love with baby the moment you lock eyes. It not only helps with speeding up labor but aids to your milk production and recovery period! Overall, it’s just the best thing ever.

Stress releases oxytocin’s evil cousin, cortisol. Cortisol is no bueno for birth; it stalls labor actually. So as your doula, i’m going to do and recommend everything that will cause you relaxation and ensure we don’t hinder the flow of the happy hormone.

You’ll feel it floating in the air in your birthing space and i’ll remind you to savor it.

8. Nourish your body, soul and relationship

Eat delicious, nutrient-based food because it will make you feel, function and sleep better. Trust me, I’m not saying there’s not a time and a place for a Five Guys double bacon, jalapeno and cheese burger with extra hot sauce but be conscious about what foods you’re consuming on the regular because baby is also getting in those nutrients.

Take the time to read, cry at movies,

9. Have a solid support plan for afterward

This is unfortunately one of the last things most moms think about during pregnancy. We all just assume we’re gonna know how to handle everything since we took the class and read the books, right?

Wrong.

There will be moments that you will need help. Some need more than others, but we all need help sometimes. It takes a village.

Round up your peeps and talk about a meal train, “babysitting schedules”, (for you to nap or shower), or even just a grocery list for someone to pick up and drop at the front porch for you.

10. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

You really do!